Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines,

the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food,

the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the Lord;

I will take joy in the God of my salvation.

Habakkuk 3:17-18

This week has been a difficult one. I was reading this passage earlier this week, before I learned of the news that a precious lady on staff at my church had unexpectedly died. I have read it several more times since then. If I am honest, I will tell you that I have been having a difficult time with the message of these verses.

No matter what happens, Lord, I will trust You.

I have been asking myself whether I really believe that. I mean, sure...I want to say with an emphatic Yes! that I trust the Lord regardless of the circumstances. But if I am honest, if I look at my life over the past year, I must admit that it has been a struggle. I have struggled to trust the Lord in the face of the "no matter whats". It has been difficult to trust Him with the suffering and deaths of so many precious children that I have taken care of over the past year...Difficult to trust Him in the process of trying to sell my house and the long waiting season with regard to Peru...Difficult to trust in His Goodness in the midst of the deaths of so many around me in the past months.

Becka Mullennix is the name of the precious lady that died this week. She was the Hospitality coordinator at Grace, and I used to serve under her leadership as a volunteer on Sunday mornings. That is where I first met her. Since then, I have seen her week after week running around in the lobby of Grace on Sundays. She always had a smile and would usually greet me with a hug. She often asked me about how Peru plans were coming along. I will miss those smiles and hugs, and if her Facebook wall is any indication, she will be dearly missed by hundreds of people. Her memorial service on Saturday was a testimony to the way that she loved people so well. I am sad that she is gone.

Circumstances like this cause me to long for the Kingdom to come and for the Earth to be restored to the way that God intended it to be. Our pastors at Grace reminded us of that today - that while we can have hope in the knowledge that Becka is in the presence of the Creator, we can also grieve, knowing that death is not from the Lord. Death is not what God intended for us from the beginning. And one day, this Earth will be restored to the way that it was perfectly created to be, and death will be defeated for good.

In the meantime though, I am learning to be honest with myself and with God. I am being reminded that it is OK to cry out to Him as David did in the Psalms, with questions and raw emotion. I am trying to put my hope in the Truths that I know about the character of God and remember the ways that He has been faithful to me, knowing that He is unchanging. I am asking Him to show me Himself, to remind me of His character. I am thankful for the encouragement of His Word:

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3: 21-23

Hilarious.

(Thanks to Emily for sharing this link with me. Hilarious. Seriously.)

Addicted?

This hasn't left my dining room table since Christmas. We might be a little addicted to the game around here. Maybe...

"Blizzard" of 2011

This has been a crazy week here in Atlanta. Last Sunday night, we got more snow than this city has seen in a while. The entire city was shut down for a couple of days. School was cancelled for the entire week. When they finally did leave their homes, people crept down the still partially icy roads, making traffic a nightmare. I was ridiculously excited on Friday evening when I drove home from work on roads that were almost completely free from ice for the first time all week. Even as I type this on Saturday night, my yard outside is still mostly covered with snow and ice. Being a Southerner who hasn't seen all that much snow in my life, I get excited when snow comes. But even I am ready for all of it to be gone after this week. Here are some pictures from Monday afternoon before I headed in to work:

Christmas Pictures

The Christmas tree - before opening gifts

Presents!

I got Photoshop Elements! I had an old version on my PC, but needed a new one for the Mac.

AJ opening a gift

Sam the dog came for Christmas. When he came through the door with his favorite toy in his mouth, Cali promptly stole it from him. We had to give her some rawhide to keep her occupied while Sam got acclimated to a new place. I found it hilarious that this is how she chose to sit to eat it.

Sam the dog with his Christmas toy.

Cali knew which stocking was hers!

She loved her big rawhide candy cane from Sam!

The beginnings of my first ever white Christmas!

Spinning in the snow, before it was sticking on the ground. I might have worn pajamas all day on Christmas... Good thing I got that rain jacket! It came in handy. Thanks, Dad!

AJ and Cali in the snow on Sunday morning

And we thought this was a decent amount of snow... We didn't know what was coming!

I find very few exceptions to my flip flop-wearing rule.

Some Things...

Thing #1) It's been too long since my last post! Apologies to the few of you who read.

Thing #b) Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I am a little late, but I do hope that you had a great time celebrating the holidays with friends and family! I spent Christmas day here at my house with my parents, Carla, and my roommate AJ. It was super-fun to have my family (most of them) at my house for Christmas. Then I went to Florida for a couple of days after to spend time with Pam and Jeremy and see the extended family. Photos to come. Eventually...

Thing #next) In case you haven't heard, it snowed in Atlanta. The whole city has been shut down for three days now. Seriously. Roads have been described as a "death trap." I find this to be a bit overdramatic, though it is true that the roads are icy and dangerous. I should know. I drove on them on Monday night on my way to sleep at the hospital. Yep, I officially participated in my first Code White at the hospital. I slept on a parent bed in an empty patient room on Monday night so that I would be there to work on Tuesday morning. Though I was glad to be back in my own bed on Tuesday night, I guess I can't complain too much about free food and being paid to sleep. All in all, it wasn't too bad, and I was able to make it back home last night. I was even able to make it up the driveway into the garage, thanks to my lovely roommate who shoveled our driveway! It just so happened that we had a snow shovel laying around our house (Thanks, Avivah!), and it came in handy. Who would have thought that a snow shovel would ever get any use in Atlanta?? Snow pictures to come, too. Eventually...

Thing #after that) A confession: I have become addicted to playing the game The Settlers of Catan. Seriously, I can't stop. I taught my family over the holidays, and now they are addicted, too. It's probably a good thing that we don't live closer, or we'd never get anything done! My roommate might wish that I had someone else to play with, though, so I would stop making her play with me at every opportunity!

Thing #last) I have already started thinking about my 30th birthday, which is coming up in April. I have never been one to get worked up about birthdays or getting older, but for some reason, I am not looking forward to turning 30. Maybe it's because I thought my life would look a little different at 30? Whatever the reason, I have been thinking about it, and have decided that I want to do something exciting for the occasion. Maybe hike the Incan Trail in Peru? Maybe visit somewhere I haven't been before? Let me know if you have any exciting ideas!

A post with pictures to come, I promise! You know, eventually...